Hookbender — Aug 15, 2014It's not about having the balls to kill yourself. Depression is all consuming. If you live through it and find a way to manage it..... that takes balls.
I wrestle with depression periodically, once I realize it is striking me,
I move my consciousness away from it with will power. I learned the technique by doing daily inner silence practice (the religious call that meditation). You would be surprise just how much of your emotionality is controllable through will power. In my case, I had to do relentless inner silence practice on a daily basis for years to learn the technique. Believe me it is absolutely liberating to have indifference to your emotions, but it don't come easy, it takes relentless practice for me to achieve it. And I can't store that ability, I have to keep up my practice every single day with a day off once every few weeks. Or while on vacation. I do mine before I do anything in the day.
Remember a year or two back I was lauding the Indifference is beautiful saying I made up. That is when my ability to control my feelings was blossoming. I understand depression, as I have bumped up against my mortality several times in the last decade, and believe me once you know you are dying or about to die if modern medicine won't work it is depressing.
And hanging yourself does take balls in my mind, balls of steel to do such a thing. Especially hanging yourself. Now that is scary to me.......