The Watering Hole

Having had recent health problems in the family, and having reached "that age" when such things need to be checked out I had my first complete physical today that I've had since the last one I had before college basketball.  

About a year ago, in preparation for this, I had switched doctors.  My former doctor was someone I went to school with, and an attractive female.  Not comfortable to go through the stuff that starts needing to be done at "this" age with a good looking female friend, I switched to a male doctor.  

Today I go in for my complete physical.  I wish Kev were here to hear the results and comments.   ;D     He asked lots of questions.  When he checked my heart, he said "wow, you have an athletes heart."  I said "is that good?"  He said "yes, very good.  Your heart sounds like one of someone half your age!" Blood pressure was excellent, etc.   At the end, his final proclamation was "your weight is perfect, and you're in great shape."  

That was almost enough to make me forget about the other stuff that he did that was a bit less fun.   :D

Every time I go for my 6 monthly diabetes checkup the doctor asks me a load of questions and one of them is "do you have any problems with erections?".   My answer to him is always the same "Yes, the damn thing won't go down"  and he laughs every time  ;D

;D

And now for what really happened....


Howie:  Geez Doc this ankle is really hurting me what should we do?

Doc:  Well we x-rayed that for you and see all that black stuff?  Yeah that's not good.  It's "Shitty ankle SYndrome".

Howie:  What can we do Doc?

Doc:  Nothing.

Howie:  Why not?  

Doc:  Because you're old.  (long pause) Stretching.  Stretch for 20 minutews everyday.

Howie:  How long will that take to fix it?

Doc:  IT doesn't fix it.  It's just something you do, till you and your shitty ankle die.

Howie:  There's gotta be something we can do Doc?

Doc:  Take 10 Advil a day.  In fact, take as many as you want.  Don't even pay attention to the label.

Howie:  But won't that mess up my liver.

Doc:  Well yeah, but you gotta weigh that against having your shitty ankle hurting.

Howie:  Well what if I were an athelete.

Doc: Well your not....so noooooooooo to whatever else it was you were going to say.

The 'other' stuff the doctor did is ok as long as his hands are not on you shoulders.   ;)

Man you guys are OLD!  ;) ;D

CraigBert — May 07, 2011Man you guys are OLD!  ;) ;D

And who did not know that !!!!!!!!!!

I used to go and see a pretty female doctor.
She told me I had to stop masturbating.
I asked why
She told me it was very distracting while she was trying to examine me.  ;D

Cinvala — May 09, 2011I used to go and see a pretty female doctor.
She told me I had to stop masturbating.
I asked why
She told me it was very distracting while she was trying to examine me.  ;D

A guy went in to see a doctor with a strange condition and the doc asked when the last time the guy got off.  The guy said it had been months so the doctor ordered him to go to a private room so he could "spank the monkey" as that would solve the issue.  As the doctor was walking him to the room, the guy catches a glance of a beautiful nurse giving some guy head in another room.  "What the hell is going on in there???" the guy asks, to which the doctor replies "Oh, he's got the same condition you have, but a much better health plan!"