The Watering Hole

A Lion escapes from Sydney Zoo. The big cat grabs a little girl and shoots off to a corner of the park to have her for lunch. Panic. Consternation.
A bronzed young man rushes forward, kills the lion with his bare hands and returns the child unharmed to her parents.
A reporter arrives from the Sydney Morning Herald. “I can make you a star, son,” he chortled. “I can see the headline now – Aussie hero saves little girl from certain death'.”
“That's great,” said the young man, “But actually I'm British.” “Well that's OK,” retorted the hack. “We'll just have to play around with the headline a bit – Pommie bastard strangles kid's pet'.”


:D

(even though I ain't from Oz)

What's the difference between a Pom and E.T.?????


Fuckin' E.T. went home dint he....!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

(Yes. I DID just laugh at my own joke......)

Now THAT'S Funny! ;D ;D ;D ;D

A Brit expat living in South Africa wants to become a real Afrikaner local and visits the doctor to see what can be done.

Doctor:
"The standard procedure is to remove half your brain"

Expat;
"Ok, it sounds extreme, but anything to fit in "


Waking up from the operation he sees the surgeon standing over him

Doctor:
"I'm sorry sir, there was a terrible mistake and we removed ALL of your brain"

Expat:

"No Worries, Mate"

:D