22 posts
sync issues here and there but I'm mainly working on the layout of the parts and overall sound.
anyways, thought I'd post it since it's at the point where I'm just listening to it repetitively and putting off re-recording everything.
thoughts appreciated!
http://www.ironsheep.com/mp3/ironsheep/Media/acoustics08172012_mix4.mp3
(fixed "thought post it..." argh)
Cooooool! Kinda Vai-ish at first but then it turns into something else when the full band enters. Excellent progression, had me grinning because it's so tasty. Great piece of music.
thanks! the progression part should probably be a separate tune but these were the four or so things I'd been playing on the acoustic last week so they all went in! heh.
" Ole "......had me stamping my feet and clapping my hands there for a moment.
Very good. Very tight playing between the left and right acoustics too. Nice overall vibe to this.
Thumbs up from me.
Nice !! I like it a LOT !
Al Di Meola docet! :)
thanks gents!
the bass is driving me nuts it's so off. might drop the first part and just start it at the chord that ends the intro - use that stuff for something else.
new strings and re-recording... eventually. heh.
some nice ideas in there for future songs!
ah, but it's supposed to be one song... argh. this is a tough thing, switching from just lead playing to song sequencing/writing etc. ah well, it's fun for now!
I've edited out the intro so far, it just didn't fit. Added the flavor elsewhere (song starts with the E major chord hit now) - re-recording with fresh strings in the next few days.
thanks for the thoughts DTR! appreciate it.
Im sorry, I read your comments above and misunderstood. I thought you meant the one part was going to be part od a different song. My bad. I listened and replied while on hold at work. Need to pay more attention!
nah, you're right - it doesn't quite have a flow to it (particularly the first part) as posted. I was just stating my frustration with the structure, not your comment.
besides, opinions were what I was looking for - there's absolutely no need to apologize.
thanks for helping out!
yeah, I didn't take it as frustration with me, just was sorry for not paying close enough attention to the posts while I listened.
Here's an idea... take a Dream Theater approach. If part one doesn't go with part two, add a part in the middle that transitions from one to the other. Just a thought. Like the ideas you had. If you do to, see if you can draw them together with another part before you discard. If not, then what I do if I like the first idea, is take it out and develop it as it's own thing.
good advice! thanks!
I've reworked the intro so far... well, I took it out. ;) there's a run that sounds a little like it in the another place as a finisher to a chord sequence instead. works a lot better without the long unconnected intro I think.
the real problem I'm running up against now: I think I need vocals for simple chords patterns like these. it's kinda boring everywhere except the "chorus" section with the ebow "vocals". I'll have to try to come up with some melody elements... might help even if it's guitar and not vocal. or maybe even some atmospheric noises... just something to add interest.
going to try symmetry on the three parts next... ABCBA instead of the current ABCAB.
today's working version just for reference:
http://www.ironsheep.com/mp3/ironsheep/Media/acoustics08172012_mix6.mp3
Like it! Nice vibe. nice playing!
Finally got a chance to hear these. LOVED the beginning and middle parts. Last part was cool, just not as awesome as the first two parts (it just needs more stuff surrounding it). I'm not sure why, but my player says the clip is 10:06 but only plays 3:16... :-?
I DO have a suggestion for the second part (take it for what it's worth), but I keep thinking that more of a walking type bass would fit better. There's some sonic landscape that a bass that's moving could fill to counterpoint the guitar. I actually almost hear bass notes where there aren't any as I kind of fill in those gaps - lol! Anyway, just something to consider. :)
I just really like the fact that you're at least entertaining making a full song! (I'm STILL waiting for that first CD from you ya know! ;) )
when you say you like the beginning, you mean the second clip? (guessing yes)
I'm thinking the last parts need to be changed too - particularly the outro, it's, at best, a little stiff.
totally agree on the bass - haven't worked that out yet, it's just midi to keep me in time while I record guitars for now. at least it isn't out of time anymore! ;)
same with drums, no bounce out of superior yet - no variations other than the fills... etc
I want to get the structure set before I spend time on that stuff. not exactly my favorite parts to do so definitely want to avoid having to redo them too much.
thanks for the listen and thoughts!
Yep - second clip. Never got around to hearing the first and figured you'd already improved it! :)
Don't be afraid to add some killer electric lead in there somewhere as well. I've heard some songs that utilize that approach very nicely.
Here's one I was reviewing about a month ago that incorporates quite a few different guitars wonderfully (plus the playing is extremely tastefully done).
http://soundcloud.com/user9149108/summernl2012-testmix-1I can just hear in my head that you could pull off something like that first electric lead in your work as well. :)
I'm on iPad right now, I'll give it a listen later but you've hit on the big decision. at this point, it's either have the middle part become the last part and let it fade out... or have a transition of some sort and then go bogner. I'm not sure what to do. I'll probably do a bogner version separately and see if anything clicks. big drawback to this is that it will become very faux-peth.
otherwise, I have a few new riffs (some cool, some kinda... interesting) and stuff but zero workable ideas for what can come after the "chorus".
I could run the "chorus" twice as long and play something over it maybe... meh, something will emerge eventually.
CraigBert — Aug 23, 2012
Don't be afraid to add some killer electric lead in there somewhere as well. I've heard some songs that utilize that approach very nicely.
+1 or, some acoustic lead, DiMeola style! I think that would fit even better.
Just got around to listening to the second version. Today the tune remnids me a little of Vinnie Moore's "Never Been To Barcelona", minus the notey soloing, which I'm sure you could add if you wanted. I think it works as is. The ebow especially is kind of chilling and makes the piece memorable...but then I don't think I've ever heard an ebow in action (as far as I know :-[), so it's slick regardless to me!
hmm, not familiar with much (any, minus that one clip you posted) of vinnie's stuff. cool though :)
here's the latest version... even though it's "short", I think this is probably the final layout. there really isn't room for a traditional solo, imo. would be like the ol' "adding a lens flare" thing in photoshop.
next up: re-recording all the guitars with fresh strings and less hammer hand attack - general "sound better" improvements. /sigh.
http://www.ironsheep.com/mp3/ironsheep/Media/acoustics08172012_mix9.mp3
btw, I bet you've heard more ebow than you realize :)
though, probably not a lot of ebow on acoustic guitars! heh
You're probably right, but it'd have to be pointed out to me, "hear that? That's an ebow in that tune." :P
I like the song and the playing is intricate and tight (latest version). The ONLY tweak I'D make is maybe on the kick drum, its level is a little low on my end. Of course I'm listening on average desktop work speakers, so ya never know. I'll re-check at home, but yeah, here, at a normal, comfy listening level, I have to focus on it to hear it.
edit: what mic's are you using these days? The acoustic sounds great.
a little more kick - good call!
Shure KSM109 on the acoustic - been pretty happy with it. I did EQ a bit though - low cuts and high bumps (a bit too much low cut on the first half possibly) - that was mainly to compensate for old dead strings and playing too hard to overcome a monitoring problem. normally, I don't have to EQ acoustic that much, if at all. I'm hoping the re-tracking of the guitars will take away the need for it.